When ever you come across a situation in which people or a certain group has stepped over the line and while doing so have done something or spoken something hurtful. In such situations people come across giving advice that one should forgive and forget. Easy to say but very difficult to follow.
Forgiving someone who has done something bad to you or spoken ill of you, is easy but it may take some time. If we are able to forgive those who have done wrong to you; we tend to take time to forget what happened. If you tend to forgive someone, it means that you have also forgotten what ill happened with you. In reality this isn’t true. Forgiveness is a process which takes time, for some this is life time process until anger and bitterness dwindles. Hence forgiveness means that we don’t go for punishing the person/ group that has caused harm to us. But forgiveness doesn’t mean that one has forgotten.
Personally past experience through which I have gone through, I can come on terms with forgiving the culprit but part in which I need to forget is difficult. For me forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation.
It is not about holding bad feelings or grudge against those who have done wrong with you. Damage done once can never be undone. Hence one can forgive what ill happened but forgetting is different. Just like a wound, which tends to heal with passage of time but the scars remain. Over passage of time, negative feelings tend to diminish. However the memory of such incidents tend to always remain at back of our mind. And when you tend to recall them, only thing that remains is bitterness. This bitterness tends to make us remember what happened and how should we manage such situations in future. That is why for me there is nothing wrong in remembering what wrong happened with you. Hence it is well said “Forgive your enemies but never forget their names”